The humans are probably the sorriest excuse for characters I've ever seen in a movie. Dialogue meant to give us a glimpse into characters' pasts is heavy handed and each character's introductory scene pretty much tells us who they are, and no one grows, changes or rises above their fears like Ripley did in Aliens.

But who cares? I don't. Years of watching horrible made-for the Sci-Fi channel movies have taught me shallow characters and shitty effects don't make for an un-enjoyable experience and I definitely laughed out loud several times in the theater. The stereotypical jock-douche who calls someone a "bitch" was one of the biggest sources of amusement.

The aliens look great in this movie, using traditional puppetry and men in suit effects instead of lazy CG that movies of this nature tend to fall back on. The Predator too looks fantastic, more true to his cinematic roots than in the previous film.

Speaking of which, in this film the Predator is the bad ass, lone wolf we knew who squared off against Arnie and Danny Glover leaving a wake of skinned bodies behind it. Unlike the predators in the first film who were a trio of bitches, this predator is a seasoned veteran (I presume from his large mantle of helmets and trophies), and he displays his intelligence and experience while stalking aliens. He knows full well that when he goes into a mini-hive that he's the one being hunted, but using his tools he turns the tables for the most part.

The Pred-alien is neat, but a sorely undeveloped concept. You never even get a good look at the thing, which is a shame because some screenshots I've seen didn't translate into the film at all. One particular scene I liked was when the Predator was about to kill two aliens at once (using dual shoulder cannons…badass!), the Pred-Alien (who in interviews was revealed to be an immature queen, which a nice wide shot of it would've shown seasoned fans of the alien films) knocks him away to save her children. It was a brief moment, but a nice indication that this alien is intelligent and cares about the hive she's trying to establish.

Still, every shot in this movie suffers from Bourne-jerky cam syndrome. Every cut is too short, too undeveloped and scenes that should be basked in are instead cut short to skip ahead through the story. I think the worst thing about this movie is it takes time away from the Predator and his mission to deal with a pizza boy pining over a girl who is way too hot for him, but nonetheless reveals her camel toe to him (and us, in probably the only scene involving humans in the movie that redeems itself).

A movie taken solely from the Predator's perspective would've been amazing, a great cover for the shallow human characters and a new way to tell the story. After all, we all know the Predators like to observe, why not tell the story by having him observing key characters throughout the film?

If I don't stop soon this review is going to be longer than the movie. To sum up, shallow human characters, bad ass Predator, shitty dialogue and character development, short, movie skips around, and finally, camel toe.