We’re roughly two weeks away from the start of the 2010 NFL season and I’m practically giddy. The kick-off game between New Orleans and Minnesota should be excellent. I’m fully entrenched in preparation for my fantasy drafts and I’m cannot wait to finally have a roster(s) to call my own. The recent news of a proposed 18-game season doesn’t sit well with me, but it doesn’t look like it will be a serious issue until 2012. Will there be a lock-out next season? Can America function without football in 2011? The owners print money with their teams. It’s hard to believe that an agreement can’t be reached. Look for a beginning-of-the-season Power Rankings column from resident NFL expert Mike Schaedler in the next day or two. Now I know I’ve already laid out my basic fantasy football strategy guide. Read it. Win your league. But now I’m taking it a step further. I’m breaking down each team, looking at the possible fantasy value and who I think you should target. Let’s do this.

AFC EAST

Buffalo Bills: The Bills suck. Maybe C.J. Spiller will have a couple nice, long TD runs in garbage time of blow outs, but I don’t see him as the breakout rookie running back worth the hype he’s getting.

Miami Dolphins: The Dolphins have an interesting team this year with four potential studs: Brandon Marshall, Ronnie Brown, Ricky Williams and Chad Henne. Yes, Chad Henne. He’s a solid number two QB that could give you points as a spot starter against weaker defenses. I have high hopes for Marshall, who will be a beast in PPR leagues. The time share success of Williams and Brown depends on them staying healthy. It feels like the league has figured out their “wildcat,” but both have the opportunity to be productive.

New England Patriots: Look for Randy Moss to actually try this season since it’s the last year of his contract. He should be the number two receiver off the board. Be wary of Captain Comeback Wes Welker. Sure, he’s back, but unless you’re in a PPR league where lame bubble screens make a difference, or you get points for players who love sliding and avoiding contact, be cautious.

New York Jets: The hype around Shonn Greene is probably deserved. But look out for LT to vulture at least three goal line scores from him. Also, the D seems to be a bit overrated in fantasy terms. If Revis doesn’t sign, it takes them down another level with interceptions. Do not draft a defense before the tenth round.

AFC CENTRAL

Cincinnati Bengals: Their receivers are great on paper, but stay clear. Carson Palmer hasn’t been the same since his knee surgery.

Cleveland Browns: Do not talk yourself into Massaquoi. Sexy sleeper who will be in a coma all year.

Pittsburg Steelers: Rashard Mendenhall is an easy number one back, especially for the first half of the season. It will be interesting to watch what happens once Rothlsdick comes back. Could be an interesting late-round selection to stash on your bench. Unfortunately, I don’t see Mike Wallace blossoming until #7 returns.

Baltimore Ravens: The sexiest team coming into the season. I honestly think Ray Rice will finish as the number one back in fantasy. Flacco is high risk, high reward depending on where you can get him in the draft (round 8 or lower). I love Boldin as a player, but he’s just not a great fantasy player. He’ll make the Ravens better, but temper your expectations with him not playing opposite of Larry Fitzgerald.

AFC SOUTH

Houston Texans: Take your pick on this offensive juggernaut. Schaub, Johnson and Daniels should all have great seasons. Word out of camp is that Arian Foster is now the starting back, so he could be a valuable mid-round target.

Indianapolis Colts: Do not pass on Peyton Manning. He’s boring and unsexy, but he’ll consistently give you 15+ points a week. Also, having a Colts receiver on your team is never a bad thing. I think Clark will regress slightly from last year. Look for Pierre Garcon to pick up where he left off as last season’s break out receiver.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Once Maurice Jones-Drew is off the board after the first five picks, forget they even have a team in Jacksonville.

Tennessee Titans: Unless you have the first or second pick, there’s no need to think about Chris Johnson. Get over it. I actually think he regresses. If you look back, tons of his points were earned on 70+ yard carries and screens. Chances are that’s not happening again. Johnson is fun to watch (or painful if playing against him), but he’s not sneaking up on defenses this year. Again, do not talk yourself into Vince Young, a guy who was on suicide watch last year and got into a fight at a strip club this summer over taunting of his alma mater. Sure, he’s matured all right.

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys: A lot of people are anointing the Cowboys as fantasy gold this year. The weapons are there. Draft at will.

New York Giants: Look for Hakeem Nicks to emerge at WR and Brandon Jacobs to keep sliding downhill in the backfield.

Philadelphia Eagles: Kevin Kolb is intriguing as a back-up/spot starter. DeShawn Jackson is overrated. Brent Celek is money.

Washington Redskins: Will McNabb be valuable on a new team with shitty receivers? No.

NFC CENTRAL

Chicago Bears: Who gives a shit about Mike Martz? Cutler will still throw a ton of pics and get sacked several times a game. Matt Forte was such a bust last year, that he might just surprise people with above average stats this year.

Detroit Lions: The Lions remind me of the Cardinals from a few years ago–terrible team, but interesting fantasy weapons. They’ll be playing from behind in most games and looking to catch up through the air. Calvin Johnson, Matt Stafford, Jahvid Best are all great picks.

Green Bay Packers: Did you see the Packers offense shred the Colts with 59 points on Thursday? I’d take any of the Packers starters before any number two.

Minnesota Vikings: Purple Jesus blah blah blah. Like I said with Chris Johnson: unless you’re top two, let it go. The loss of Sydney Rice and Harvin’s migraine’s scare me off from everyone else on the Vikings.

NFC SOUTH

Atlanta Falcons: I’d hate to be drafting eight and have to choose between Michael Turner or a number one WR. Turner isn’t sexy, but he scores touchdowns and has a badonkadonk. Same with Roddy White. Not the flashiest pick, but he’ll get you points.

Carolina Panthers: Jonathan Stewart or D’angelo Williams? I go the former and you can get him several rounds later.

New Orleans Saints: Pick a Saint, any Saint. Hard to go wrong with their offensive production. The biggest problem is that when the Saints blow teams out by 30 points, their top studs will be sitting in the fourth quarter.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: This team is undraftable. When does Cadillac Williams get his nickname demoted due to his lack of durability?

NFC WEST

Arizona Cardinals: I loved Kurt Warner. With his retirement he takes with him the fantasy value of one of the games best receivers. Larry Fitzgerald is a late third round pick. I’ve seen Leinart and Anderson in the pre-season and…my god are the Cardinals fucked. A lot of hype for Beanie Wells, but I expect eight in the box all season until their QB proves he can deliver.

St. Louis Rams: Steven Jackson has this team on his back. How long can this first round pick stay healthy?

San Francisco 49ers: Expect Vernon Davis to come back to earth this year. Michael Crabtree is an interesting mid-round gamble, since most of his points will be off YAC.

Seattle Seahawks: I have a hard time talking myself into Justin Forsett. This team is rebuilding with Pete Carroll and I just don’t see anyone I’d want on my roster.

Real talk: I’m back-to-back champion in my ten team work league, and I won a twelve team friend league last year as well. I know some shit, but I know that I’ve been very lucky in the process. You want to be diesel and taunt your friends this fantasy season? Bone up on these tips.

1. DRAFT WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT
I’ve been playing fantasy for a couple years and there’s nothing worse than hating your team. It makes playing no fun. You want to like the guys on your team. Now don’t be stupid. Just because you’re hard over Rex Ryan and the Jets doesn’t mean you draft Sanchez in the third round and LT in the fifth. Obviously, do your homework–read the sites, mags, watch the shows and even a do couple mocks. Know who’s going where and how you can get the best value in each round. But the point is that half of the players you draft will be a bust, a quarter will be dropped by week five and a quarter will carry you. Last year I drafted Brandon Jacobs in the first round at pick number six. Didn’t quite work out for me, but at the time I liked the pick and was OK with living with the consequences of pulling the trigger on that move. I also had Aaron Rodgers on one of my teams last year. He was a beast. I love him again this year. I’d rather take Rodgers early at the end of the first round/early second than be stuck with Frank Gore. I love Chad Ochocinco as a person, but the Bengals’ offense is terrible. Get the point?

“Experts” will give you more advice and insight than you probably need. You’ll probably second guess yourself more than anything. The point is, this is your team. Make your bed and happily lie in it.

2. WASTE VALUABLE TIME ON YOUR TEAM
So you have the team you want and like. Now it’s time to waste several hours a week looking at match-ups, stats and potential ways to fuck your opponent up. Don’t think you can roll out of bed Sunday morning fifteen minutes before kick-off and just adjust your roster based on bye-weeks. Dedication, time, results. Productivity at work only decreases if you miss the playoffs.

3. WORK THE WAIVER WIRE
The only reason I’ve won titles the last two years is because I constantly add free agents. Know who had a breakout game on Sunday and be the first person to put in a claim. You might not get him, but at least you know what’s happening. Also, don’t be scared to go fishing on the wire for a sleeper in a favorable match-up. Remember Miles Austin last year against Kansas City? Of course you do. Before that game no one had him on a roster. After, he was a must-start for the rest of the season.

4. PROPOSE RIDICULOUS TRADES
Part of the fun of fantasy is seeing if you can get your friends to bite on a lop-sided trade offer. In 2010, rarely does this happen. Everyone knows what’s a fair trade and it’s uncommon that you have a friend stupid enough to be had. Peyton Manning for Eli Manning? Sure! Half of the fun is seeing the outraged reaction from your friend, disgusted at the idea that you even proposed such a thought. What’s worse than receiving insane trade proposals every week? A league full of pussies who don’t even propose trades.

5. COMPLAIN ON TUESDAY HOW YOU LOST BY ONE POINT ON THE MONDAY NIGHT GAME
Fuck you, Bill Simmons. And you know what else? I’m going to tell you about how my entire bench scored more points than my starters. This is my life, man. Pretend like you care!

6. HAVE FUN (UNLESS YOU’RE PLAYING FOR MONEY)
Of course we all say that fantasy football is “just for fun” but really it’s another way to exercise my gambling addiction. Face it, fantasy is more fun when money is on the line. Every game is vital and one injury tanks your whole season. Ride the wave. But remember, one one person walks away with the cash at the end of the year, so enjoy the competition, the camaraderie and most importantly, the trash talk.