I saw the video below over on FilmDrunk. It’s a compilation of the the most fucked out, lazy, and my most hated cinematic plot device, originally from Top Gun. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” There’s nothing wrong with the sentence. In its original context, the dialogue actually works and gives Maverick a sharp comedic edge. My issue is with its repeated use. Maybe it deserved a smirk the first time it was referenced in a subsequent film, but over twenty-five fucking years and god knows how many scripts later? You’ve got to be kidding me. The quote isn’t inherently funny. It’s not funny or skilled writing to ironically reference a twenty-five year old quote. People or characters who do so are creatively bankrupt and deserve public ridicule (and anal warts). This is why Hollywood is fucked and America is stupid. This is why Vampires Suck actually got made and why hacky writers become millionaires and Party Down gets canceled.